Courting an Ex-Girlfriend

If you have managed to get back to courting an ex-girlfriend, you will have to remember that if you want to keep her this time, you should try and do things different than you did the last time.

The fact that you have managed to get her back will mean that you probably had to work hard as exes are usually far harder to win over than a new girlfriend. Hopefully in the process of winning her back, you did not beg or threaten as if you did, the romance is probably once again destined to fail.

It isn’t every time that someone wants an ex-girlfriend back but if they do, it is going to take a lot of effort and so it should be for the right reasons. If you think you want your ex back because you miss female company, it would probably be a lot easier to find a new girl than try and win over an ex.

So, in order to justify the effort, you should be sure that the ex is the girl you really want and that having won her back you will do everything you can to keep her.
Towards that end, one mistake that many guys make is to beg the girl to come back. Tis o course can be very effective in winning her back but in the long term is a definite mistake.

When a man begs a woman to come back to him, it stirs up feelings of pity and sympathy in the girl and in a moment of weakness, accepts to come back.

The feelings of pity and sympathy though are only short lived emotions and as they wear off, the girl will realize that your begging has caused her to lose respect for you in such a way that that respect can never be earned back and so the rekindled romance will be short lived.

Threatening her or threatening to do something to yourself may also work in the short term but once again, it will only work because she has short felt emotions of either pity or fear and once those emotions subside, the romance is doomed to failure.

Assuming you have managed to win back your girl without begging or the use of threats, going about things differently will be your next problem. Perhaps some options you should consider are romantic weekends away from the hassles of everyday life.

Offer to take the two of you on a weekend break to the countryside where you can take walks through the woods or picnic in fields. A weekend by a beach may also work, taking strolls on the beach under the stars. Remember it was you that decided that you wanted her back and that you would do anything to keep her this time and so some extra romance is a good way to start.

If that weekend seemed to help, perhaps consider another to somewhere really romantic like Paris, although London can also be romantic if you go to the right places.

How to Get Your Ex-girlfriend Back

Getting your ex-girlfriend back isn’t easy. It is even harder if she broke up with you citing vague reasons. No one breaks up for no reason. She either doesn’t believe you can change whatever she doesn’t like, or she just doesn’t want to hurt your feelings further. The fact of the matter is that you got her attention once which means you can get it back. It is up to you to do the work, but there is a solution.

“It’s not you, it’s me” and other vague reasons

It’s definitely you. Women usually use this line, or some version of it, if they are no longer attracted to you. This is the most basic reason to break up with someone. Keep in mind, the reason is valid. She was attracted to you, and then something happened. Women, unlike men, rarely get bored of their partner. It is not that she wants to search for a new partner. Women prefer to stay with the same partner even for the wrong reasons because that is the easier option for them. This means that you stopped being sexy. Whatever you did to attract her in the first place has changed. You got too comfortable around her.

Examples of this are:

  • You stopped dressing a certain way and opted for comfortable clothing.
  • You probably stopped maintaining hygiene as you did in the beginning.
  • You stopped shaving as often, you don’t wear cologne as often, and so on.

All these things happened without you even noticing it, but if you ask your friends they will confirm this. Now you need to do two things if you want her back.

Give her some time

Not too much, a month is fine. Don’t text her, call her, or meet her. This also gives you enough time for the second important part, pull yourself together.

Hit the gym, clean up, and buy some new clothes

When the month is over, then and only then should you meet up with her. Chances are you have the same friends and frequent the same places. Show up cleaned up and looking good. She will then be able to see what she fell for in the first place. If you can’t meet up accidently, you will need to contact her. Call her to meet. Say you want to talk, to see how she’s doing. Most women will want to meet up. Think of this meeting as a first date. Behave like you did in the beginning. You won her heart over once, you can do it again. This time, though, try not to let yourself go so much and you’ll be fine.

If your ex-girlfriend gave you some weak excuse about what happened, chances are you changed something. Something she liked. Getting her attention in the first place was hard, but this time around it is all about showing her who she fell in love with. Avoid pleading, or calling, or in any way looking pitiful. That is why she is leaving you. She needs the man she first met, so get your act together and be that man. Be who you are at your best. That is the man every woman wants, and your ex-girlfriend probably deserves.

Let it Ride to Win Her Back

You thought things were moving along perfectly in your relationship. You had even met the parents, celebrated the first year anniversary with a trip to the Tropics, and discussed a possible future, and then wham! Your girlfriend calls off the entire relationship.

Caught completely off guard, you will need to go through a few steps before you can gather your thoughts. You will be sad, emotional, mad, and then possibly desirable for a reunion with your girl. If you hit this point where you know you want to get back together, consider our Let it Ride plan. This plan is effective because it allows you to quietly and calmly get back the lady of your dreams with minimal stress.

 

The Plan

 Through a series of non-threatening and low-pressure gestures, you will begin to woo back your woman. The steps are broken down by time frames, but you should evaluate the progress to modify the time if necessary. The key components and reasons for success to this plan is the low intensity at which you approach the reconciliation.

 

Weeks One –Three

 During this time period, if at all possible, you should not communicate with your former partner. You need to assess your hurts and why they happened. You also want her to begin to form a desire and a longing for you again. Take this down time and cry, eat chocolate, watch some major moves, and sporting events, and repair your feelings. The only step in the plan you complete during this time is staying away from her and staying quiet. Avoid crying phone calls and screaming drama; go ghost.

 

A Month after the Break Up

 At this time, a tiny but very effective gesture is needed. She has probably been thinking about you, and you want her to be reminded of the good you. Most women will be impacted with a hand-written note or a small bouquet of her favorite flowers. If you can think of another low-key, but very impactful gesture, then make it. Do not send in the symphony playing on her front lawn. You do not want to scare her off again. She will want to thank you, and this will open p a conversation.

When she calls keep the conversation very short. Talk for less than five minutes, but then wait 3-4 days and make another very short follow-up call.

 

At a Month and a Half

 The goal at this time is for your former flame to have reached out to you once or twice. You want her to miss you, and to indicate this through phone calls or texts. Your main rule to follow is to be kind and receptive, but not too overwhelming. You have to keep these moves low pressure. Do not begin to discuss the future baby’s name.

 

Two-Three Weeks from the Split

 Now is the time to propose a brunch, coffee, or lunch date. You want this date to be low key, so keep to daytime hours. The idea is that you will have several of these events spread out over a few weeks. If you are lucky and truly meant to be together, this will lead to reconciliation for the two of you.

Getting Back your Ex

Although many of us may have wanted to get back an old girlfriend, it isn’t always as easy as we may have thought. Then, even if we are successful, holding on to them could be another problem. Although at some time or other many of us would like to get back an ex-girlfriend, is it always a good idea. Let’s face it if it didn’t work once, why should it work a second time? If we decide though that we really do want her back, what is the best strategy?

Many men try begging or even threats to kill themselves if the girl doesn’t return to them. Sometimes these methods may work but, studies have shown that if a girl does go back to her old boyfriend because the boy begged or threatened, they do not stay with them long.

It would appear that although the girl may return, it is only because of an emotion of either. Once the feeling of sympathy has diminished, so has the romance as the girl only then feels a lack of respect for the boy doing the begging and threatening. Some guys like to remind their ex about the good times that they had but apparently that also reminds the girls of the bad times as well.

So let’s face it, if we want to get our ex back we have to be a little more original if we really want to win her back for any kind of real meaningful relationship. We can and perhaps should apologize, as long as we don’t do it in a way that is like begging.

An apology always helps even if we didn’t do anything, she only thought we did. If she was the one that did something to cause the break up, we should let her know that we forgive her and say it with genuine feeling. What we can also do is talk about the future and of how great it could be if we were together.

We can perhaps improve on this by inviting them out for a romantic dinner or better still, invite for a romantic weekend away from any distractions where the two of you can have time to relax and talk in peace.

There are now many places throughout the country that advertise romantic weekend getaways and having done some homework on a couple may help convince her that you are serious and really do want her back for the right reasons. All girls are different though and so what method works for one, may not work for another but, you already know them remember.

Before we take these somewhat drastic measures though, we must be sure that it is her that we want back. There are many guys who just miss having female company and they think it would be easier to pick up back with an ex than to find someone new. If that is the case, my advice would be forget the ex, it didn’t work once and so the pastures may be greener somewhere else.